The series so far — She left her boyfriend and arrived in Rome with only one plan — to begin eating, praying and f*cking her way through Europe, so that she might have fun sexual adventures and something to write about and for you to enjoy. This is how it’s going so far. My First Italian Sausage Even more delicious than I had dreamed it would be!medium.com When In Rome, Don’t Wear A Short Skirt Unless you want to start a riot and get your cardio workout for the daymedium.com

Practice, practice, practice! — I’ve been writing about sex here on Medium for a couple years now. I guess I’ve spent that time earning what might as well be a Ph.D. in the Nasty. I know all about how to please women, how to please men, how to please transgender, what makes a good…

With an amazing female stimulating gel! — So my new boyfriend, , and I were going to have sex and I was pretty excited. I ripped his clothes off and threw him on the bed. I was about to ravage him when he said, “Wait, I have something for you.” “Yes, you do. Look at it, standing…

Seven scenarios to help you decide. — 1. He really goes crazy when he has sex with you. At the moment of orgasm he cries out, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I can’t believe this!” WHO ARE YOU? His fuck buddy. He’s getting this pleasure at absolutely NO EMOTIONAL COST to him — hell yes he can’t believe it. 2. At the moment you make the slightest critical comment toward him, he cries out, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I can’t believe this!”

Is that wrong? — I want to go online tonight with you. I can’t help it, I know it’s wrong. But goddamn it, Daniel, I want to do this. I know you have a wife of thirty years and a grown child. This is not going to threaten that, I promise you. I don’t…

I don’t know why I gave myself this challenge. It is possible I have lost my mind. But I have written a fairy tale of sexual slang terms. — See how many sexual terms you recognize. Maybe you’re like me and you love obscure sexual slang. Or maybe you’re like me, and slightly deranged. Don’t worry, it is a perfectly natural result of isolation and desolation. Anyhow, the first person to identify all 48 slang terms in this fairy…

Where do women get these dumb ideas anyway? — Written by Your Average Penis 1. The myth that just because I get big and hard when I’m around you and throw up that my owner is somehow in love with you. He’s not, okay. Newsflash: I’M THE ONE in love with you. I’m the one that got him to swipe right. I’m the one that brought his body to your door. I’m the one that instructed him to make some witty comments during your first coffee date. I’m the one who…

Just once, you swear, and then it will be totally back to normal — Personal trainers are hot — men or women. But they don’t want to fuck their clients because — well, that’s their livelihood. They probably already fucked a client, he or she got mad at them for whatever reason, and then they lost that money. So now, even if they are…

Because let’s face it, you’re bored to tears — The pandemic ended by the endless Zoom calls continued, somehow. They say remote work is supposedly “over”, but most of my friends spend hours every day at work bleary-eyed looking at their colleagues in little black squares on their computer screen. There’s only one way to make it bearable. …